Buffy's Son" aka "Son of Buffy"
by Dorks With Forks
Summary: Mildy funny, Mildy weird, and depending on who you are, mildy scary...but in a good way, just read it and reveiw B/S (sorta)


A/N: Yeah so, once in awhile this thing happens to me where I THINK. I know, it's a weird thing to do. Anyway, I started to think of a "rational explanation" to the whole Buffy/Spike parenthood thing, and it turned into something else. I did find one (an explanation, duh), Biology. Well that, and many episodes of Jerry Springer led me to this story. This isn't meant to be a bashing type fic, because, even if I'm not one, B/Ser's are still pretty cool (I'm more of an Angel/Spike shipper myself…mwah ha ha). And also, I don't really write like this, it was just something that I had to write down quickly…  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Any of it. Not even HGTV.  
  
A/N part 2 (sorry you guys): Spoilers for Season Six, maybe…Oh, and HGTV rules (  
  
"Buffy's Son" aka "Son of Buffy"  
  
He was going home. After spending nearly three years chasing that Morha demon around the globe, Spike was going home.  
  
And, he was human.  
  
He remembered the night he left Sunnydale exactly as he had last seen it, from the look of sorrow on Buffy's face as he took off all the way down to the color of the flowers in front of the Summers' home. In fact, he remembered that entire night as if it had only happened a few moments ago…  
  
"Spike! Look out!" He remembered Buffy's voice calling to him while on patrol that night. Spike turned around to catch the Morha demon that had been after him, sword poised over his head. A swift kick to the stomach region (although Spike was unsure what organ was really there), and the sword clattered to the ground. Buffy was soon by his side. The strength of both the slayer and her vampire lover overpowered that of the Morha's, and it was pinned to the ground. Spike pulled a stake out of his pocket, but Buffy stopped him.  
  
"You'll need to smash the jewel on his head," Buffy lightly tapped the shiny, red jewel on the Morha's forehead. "Go ahead, you do it, he attacked you." Spike grinned and raised his fist.  
  
"Wait!" the demon cried, "I'm here on uh…good business! I bring a challenge for the vampire, um, Spark!"  
  
"It's Spike, nice try mate."  
  
"Wait! You'll want to hear this! It is rumored, vampire Spike, that you wish to be human."  
  
"Bloody Hell! Why would I wanna-" Spike stopped and looked at Buffy, who seemed expressionless, or maybe shocked? He would become human; he'd do it for her, if she wanted him to. Buffy looked at Spike, "You never told me that."  
  
"It isn't true! Uh…I mean, like I've said before, you've always wanted a little monster in your man." Meanwhile, Morha remained pinned under the slayer and her counterpart, struggling to escape. Noticing the passive look of the slayer, he took his chance and shoved. Before Buffy and Spike had a chance to react, the Morha was gone. In its place was a white envelope embedded in the soft grass. Spike picked it up and began to read the contents inside.  
  
"The race begins tonight. Catch me and you get my blood. Uh, I assume that makes me human? Anyway…We'll go 'round the world and back, over and over. Tonight, 10:00 (cause I have to watch West Wing), Docks at Sunnydale. Morha. West Wing? Bugger this." Spike crumbled the paper and threw it into the bushes. "Let's go back to my crypt, it's closer than your house. You left some of your First Aid crap there too, so you can fix up your battle scars." Spike pointed to Buffy's arm, to show where four claw marks had, well, made their mark. She nodded slightly, not saying a word, and followed Spike to his home.  
  
The wounds had been treated and healed, and Spike, growing weary, nestled down in front of the TV, and sat down to watch his favorite home improvement channel, HGTV. While Buffy usually complained about his watching the Home and Garden Network (A/N, that's what HGTV stands for right? I'm so lame), she said nothing this time. Spike turned around and looked at his…his…girlfriend (sorry for the interruptions you guys, this is hard for a non-B/Ser).  
  
"Buffy luv, what's wrong? You hate home improvements? Where's my ass kicking?"  
  
"I…I dunno, I keep thinking about Morha."  
  
"Morha!? Bloody Hell Buff! He's been the first guy to get away in months! You've-"  
  
"No…no…it's not that…I think you should go. Try and catch him, become human."  
  
Spike tried to sound un-angered, "Why? I wouldn't be any good to you as a lung-using being!"  
  
Buffy remained silent, but her face was full of emotion. "It's just…I think it'd be better for us, for him, if he'd have at least one normal…not to go through life knowing the things we do, it'd be better…" Buffy drifted off into more silence.  
  
Meanwhile, Spike was confused.  
  
"Buffy? What the hell was in your dinner tonight? Who the bloody Hell are you talking about?"  
  
Buffy snapped out of her daze, "Oh…I…uh…I'm pregnant."  
  
That did it. Spike was at the docks an hour later. And the race began. Morha already had a giant lead, leaving the shores of California hours beforehand. The two did circle the globe a couple of times, although nowhere near Sunnydale. Spike hadn't heard from Buffy in the three years that he was gone. But, that didn't matter now, he had found Morha, taken his blood and killed him, and now Spike was going home, completely human, to see Buffy and their child.  
  
At least he hoped so. Buffy hadn't been completely sure she was pregnant. "I mean, you are a vampire after all. I thought you guys couldn't…you know…"  
  
However, over the years, Spike decided that it had to be some sort of Hellmouth side effect, and waited in agony (the good kind) until the day he could return home. He turned onto Revello Drive, where, according to a secret phone call with Willow, Buffy, and her son, both still lived. Spike bothered not to call Buffy ahead of time, as he wanted to surprise her.  
  
And surprise her he did.  
  
"Oh my God, Spike!" Buffy slowly whispered, tears coming to her eyes. "You're home! You're…" She touched his chest, "Alive!"  
  
Spike put up and waved both hands, and with a great deal of effort (cough*sarcasm*cough) mumbled, in a good way, "Surprise…I might be human, but I'm still me on the inside. Sarcastic, witty-"  
  
"Mommy?"  
  
Spike stopped speaking and looked at the toddler standing in the doorway alongside his mother. He bore a striking resemblance to her, light brown/dirty blonde hair, and bluish/greenish eyes.  
  
Spike smiled and looked up at Buffy, "So…"  
  
Buffy returned the smile, "I named him after his father-uh, his real name, not his nickname." The smile grew and more tears fell down Buffy's face.  
  
Spike knelt down to the tyke's eye level and greeted his new found son warmly, "Hello, William."  
  
The tyke jerked his head back and gave Spike a dirty look.  
  
"My name's not William! It's Rupert!"  
  
El End  
  
Now go review it… ( 


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